Sunny Tortilla Warmer Not So Sunny

Sunny Tortilla Warmer

Why is that sun not smiling? Does it not know that within its folds it contains a dozen delicious tortillas? Perhaps that is the issue with this Sunny Tortilla Warmer. It doesn’t want to share!

Watch out, Mr. Sun! Improve that attitude or suffer the same fate as angry Mickey Mouse. (That being a quick dismissal from Amazon’s smiling, happy store: “Your search “Mickey Mouse comic plate” did not match any products.”)

Star Wars R2-D2 Soy Sauce Bottle Holder Dispenser

Star Wars R2-D2 Soy Sauce Bottle Holder Dispenser

R2-D2 has it good. Despite the occasional foray into battle, the little droid does pretty well for himself. He gets carted around in spaceships, has a big gold buddy and is down with a princess. However, like all droids, every once in a while he needs a tune up. As in an oil change. Little did we all know, but R2-D2 runs on delicious soy sauce.

The Star Wars R2-D2 Soy Sauce Bottle Holder Dispenser is a handy dandy condiment dispenser that measures about four inches tall (so the Jawas won’t find him). Luckily with or without the scavengers, R2-D2 is ready for service. Dinner service that is. Who knew back in the 70s that R2-D2 leaking oil would be delicious for your rice? Aside from George Lucas, that is.

Ketchup And Mustard #10 Can Pumps

Pumps for Heinz #10 Jugs of Mustard & Ketchup. Set of 2. Great For Convenience Stores & Professional Food Service Areas.

Stop having convenience store jealousy. What convenience store jealousy you may ask? Why that would be the sense of condiment envy that one gets after being hypnotized by the endlessly spinning hot dogs by the register. All those condiments just waiting to be piled on…

Even though one can walk into their local Costco and pick up all the #10 cans of ketchup and mustard that they can haul, what to do with them in the home environment has always been a mystery. Until now.

Now, with a simple internet purchase and a trip to the big warehouse store, you too can have the convenience of the convenience store right in your own kitchen!

…Of course you’ll need one of these to go along with your new found condiment pride. (At least for the mustard can, that is.)

Pumps for Heinz #10 Jugs of Mustard & Ketchup. Set of 2. Great For Convenience Stores & Professional Food Service Areas.

Rapid Ramen Cooker

Rapid Ramen Cooker

They say we eat with our eyes first. But what happens when an otherwise delicious meal gets set down in front of us, only to realize that it’s been jammed into the wrong serving contrivance? If it’s a bowl of ramen, shoving that rectangle into a round bowl can only have crumbly, unappetizing results. It’s a wonder that anybody eats the stuff.

How has rectangle-ramen survived in a round-bowl-world for so long? Well, it’s no matter because the Rapid Ramen Cooker is here to save the day.

There is no great secret here to the Rapid Ramen bowl; it just happens to be a bowl designed to perfectly fit a packet of the dried noodles. No longer must we wade through a crumbled jumble of dried noodles. Just pop the noodle cake into the bowl, fill to the water line and nuke it for about 4 minutes. Thanks to the shape of the bowl, the result should be evenly cooked noodles without any hazardous sharp edges protruding out. See? It’s safe too!

Finally, eating ramen no longer must be like forcing a square peg into a round hole. Speaking of, it is also available as: 4-Family Pack Rapid Ramen Cookers. So, yes, even the black sheep of the family can join in the delicious, dried noodle fun!

Handy Gourmet Forever Fizz 2 Liter Soda Dispenser

Handy Gourmet JB6066 Forever Fizz

Dear Soda People,

Drink carefully.

Reviewers seem to hate this thing. The thing? The Handy Gourmet JB6066 Forever Fizz.

They say:

At first glance I thought it might be fun. I am into interesting gadgets. But this is not a useful gadget. It’s not even an interesting toy. It is a complete waste of money. If you should wind up with one of these, hopefully through no fault of your own, be sure you do all your experimenting in the kitchen sink. No you don’t have to do it in the shower. There is no real pressure. There is no gushing out of your soda. There is no fun.
— john the artist

Ouch.

So then, where do all the unsold units go?

Why to the dark corners of Amazon, where all those bad reviews magically disappear.
Listed for $2.83 $2.50 as the Coke Fizzy Soda Drinking Dispense Gadget Cool Dispenser, the failed product will live on and on and on and…

Sincerely, Beyond The Kitchen Sink

PS: Yikes! Fifteen one star reviews (and two very suspect 5 star reviews) over on QVC where they are branded as the K25916 – Prepology Set of 2 Fizz Saver 2-Liter Soda Dispensers.