Category: Accessories

Past and present collide with this kitchen tool

Homo Sapiens Caveman Kitchen Tool

If only all kitchen tools were this easy to use. You look at it and you know what it is used for: anything it wants. The Homo Sapiens Caveman Kitchen Tool is a throwback to the earliest days of cooking. While I doubt too many cavemen were concerned with grating garlic or ginger (as this sandstone tool is capable of), the simple effectiveness of a heavy object as a useful cooking implement cannot be denied (nor will it).

Useful for tenderizing meat or grinding herbs into a paste, the tool also features a flat edge for sharpening knives. Unlike the cooking tools of the far past, this one has one additional benefit that eluded our caveman ancestors: it is dishwasher safe.

Not a pasta tree

pasta_tree

It looks like a pasta tree, but since pasta doesn’t grow on trees, it must be something else. Oh. It’s a rack. For drying pasta. Eh, still looks like a pasta tree to me. But if you insist, we can call it by its real name: Wooden Pasta Drying Rack. It also looks like an old telephone pole, but a Pasta Telephone Pole would just be ridiculous now, wouldn’t it? TGIF.

Zombie-bait salt and pepper shakers

Brain Salt and Pepper Shakers

Trying to catch a zombie? You’ll need some bait. That is unless you wish to put your own braaaaaains at risk. While Brain Salt and Pepper Shakers might not contain all the smarty goodness that zombies crave, the discerning zombie will surely seek out a way to season their victim’s braaaaaains. When not attracting zombies, the two hemispheres hold together via a magnet and supply your dining table with good ol’ salt and pepper. Meanwhile, when you want to take a break from your zombie hunting, check out this Crawling Zombie Torso Gelatin Mold after the jump.

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Dino Sandwich Cutter removes crusts, adds fun

dinosandwich

Even as a kid I never quite got the whole sandwich “with the crusts cut off” thing. Crusts are delicious too and deserve such recognition. However if your young’uns need a little encouragement to bite into their PB&J, check out this Dino Sandwich Cutter from Williams-Sonoma. Not only does the sandwich cutter trim off offensive crusts, but it also makes mealtime fun. What little kid (well, the boys at least) wouldn’t enjoy pretending to be some great beast tearing into a dinosaur?

Now, the only problem is what to do about that kid who likes their sandwiches with the crust left on. That’s not gonna fly when everybody else is running around with cool dinosaur sandwiches. (Also available in a stupid boring heart shape for the stupidhead girls.)

See no evil, hear no evil, taste no wine

monkey_wine

These three little wise monkeys may have an aversion to wine, but perhaps they are just watching over it for you. In fact, that’s exactly what these Banana Kids Wine Stoppers by Alessi are meant to do. Some may consider them to be turning a blind eye towards your imbibitions, and perhaps that’s not too bad of an idea. As the saying goes: see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. If you’re using these wine stoppers to save a bottle of Two Buck Chuck, then these monkeys are wise indeed.

Never be without a burger–Patty Paper for a penny

pattypaper

Buying ground beef in bulk is a sure-fire way to stretch your burger dollars. Best of all, when you make burgers at home, you get them exactly the way you like them. Just try getting finely chopped onions mixed into any fast-food burger. Like a splash of Worcestershire sauce to round out the flavor? Forget it if you ain’t making it at home. No matter what your favorite burger recipe may be, there’s a good chance you are going to need a storage solution.

Since ground beef doesn’t come in packages rounded to an exact appetite, it’s usually appropriate to buy more than you need. Having frozen burgers patiently waiting in the freezer is a comforting thought to burger lovers. You are going to need something to keep all those emergency burgers from sticking to each other. Johnson-Rose Hamburger Patty Paper is designed to do the trick. At a cost of $15.00 for a pack of 1500, no matter how much you love burgers you should be covered for the foreseeable future. For an add-on cost of a penny a burger, I think it’s a well-spent investment.