mystery meat – Beyond The Kitchen Sink

Spam Nuts

Hamakua Macadamia Nut Company Spam Mac Nuts

What’s more appetizing than Spam? Spam nuts! The Hamakua Macadamia Nut Company makes a bunch of different flavors of macadamia nuts: Black Peppah, Butter Garlic and Herbs, Hula Jalapeno. But really, the only flavor you need to know about is Spam. That’s right. Spam mac nuts. Go nuts, Spam people!

Guess what? The Spam Macadamia Nuts are in stock. Also available in a Spam Gift Set.

PSA: Also available on Amazon, but it is less expensive to get them directly from the company in Hawaii. Plus,then you can add some “peppah” nuts to your order to wash down (or burn away) the taste of Spam!

Cut The Spam (Into Consistent Slices)

MIU France 90111 Lunch Meat Slicer

Nobody likes spam, but as for Spam, the food product, well let’s just say it’s more enjoyable. Maybe. But, regardless of how you use it the first step is to cut it up. (Or just grab the hunk and start chewing if you feel daring.) The MIU France Lunch Meat Slicer is a canned meat-sized slicing tool designed especially for creating consistently-sized slices from the popular meat-in-a-can ~~treat~~ product. While it may not rival sliced bread for the title of Greatest Thing, perhaps by association it will at least help a little bit with reputation of the edible type of Spam.

Product Description:
The canned meat slicer from MIU makes stacks of perfectly sliced meat for everything from sandwiches to sushi. Place the canned meat onto the base of the unit and close the handle firmly to slice the meat. The handle comes off for easy cleaning. Constructed of durable ABS and stainless steel; the MIU lunch meat slicer has ten stainless steel cutting wires. Dishwasher safe. Item #90111.

Meatball Magic Is A Mystery

Meatball Magic Meatball Maker (8 pc Set)

People often like or dislike a food based on its texture alone–but that usually applies only to eating it. But then again, nobody likes goopy hands. If you want to believe the infomercial, Meatball Magic can help. The idea is to slab down on to the counter a hunk of ground beef, and to cover it with the kitchen gadget. After trimming the excess, roll the whole shebang around on the counter until you get “9 perfect meatballs in seconds”. Whether or not it works is up to you to decide, but at least they didn’t name the contraption Meatball Mystery. Somehow meat meets mystery doesn’t have the same ring to it.

Zombie Jerky Finally Available In The US

Zombie Jerky

Just because Japan got it first, doesn’t mean that zombies are any less delicious; Zombie Jerky is finally here! Now, delicious zombie meat can be yours in convenient to-go sized packages.

…and if you are curious as to how Zombie Jerky is made, check out Harcos Laboratory for the story of USDA approval.

Only Get Your Meatwater From Reputable Sources

Warning on Counterfeit MeatWater for Australia.

If Meatwater isn’t real, then someday it will be. With such delicious-sounding flavors like Fried Oysters and Liverwurst Sandwich, somebody is bound to try it. Heck, I might just try it in my blender this afternoon. However, the question remains about which would taste better: counterfeit Meatwater or the ‘real thing’?

Ninety million cans can’t be wrong

I want to want this cookbook, I really do. With 90 million cans of SPAM sold each year in the United States, there has to be something to the canned meat. After watching Anthony Bourdain explore the possibilities lurking in the ubiquitous blue can in Hawaii, I should get this cookbook. However, Hawaii being populated with SPAM fanatics, I still have to approach the mystery meat with caution. Oh, I trust Hormel has done a fine job in canning the substance, and Marguerite Patten has done a fine job of writing about it, but SPAM The Cookbook will just have to wait.

Then again, I should do something with the can that’s been reposing in my pantry since I picked it up on sale at Walgreens. Maybe I’ll just take a little peek inside…